The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop. - Jacob M. Appel
If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.... - Jacob M. Appel
Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date. - Jacob M. Appel
I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing.... - Jacob M. Appel
The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him. - Jacob M. Appel